I know my body well enough to know that this dress would look good on me only about 4% of the time. The 4% of time where I might have eaten a light dinner the night before, ingested zero salt the past week and miraculously hit the ever-elusive goal of drinking eight glasses of water every day. So basically the 4% of time where I don't have a pooch. Does everyone call them pooches? That's what we call them in my family but jersey fabric + my immense love of salt = unflattering. Either way, I'm coveting this outfit today, regardless of its realtime applicability on my body.
Another reason this dress wouldn't work for me is that my arms are covered in red bumps. At first I thought they were bug bites, and then poison ivy, but now I'm convinced I have some rare skin disorder and I am forever cursed with itchy, splotchy hands. Any ideas?